I’ll keep this brief.  The most surprising part of last week’s leadership training simulation was when someone asked me: Are you really a clueless manager, or are you playing a role?

My dirty-little-secret?  I wish I could say it was all an act, but it wasn’t.  

That night in the hotel I reflected on the question.  I realized that I was under a lot of stress during the simulation, performing the role of manager and simulation leader.  Time was short, my adrenaline was high, and I didn’t want to look like an idiot in front of these folks.

In short, under stress, I struggled to be a good manager in the simulation.

Yes, part of the simulation was to place participants in the worker role and give them unchangeable constraints.  Without that the simulation wouldn’t work.
But I also learned something about myself: that stress significantly impacts my behavior.

Next time I’ll practice more beforehand.  I won’t be perfect, but I will have more tools to draw on during the simulation.

And you need to practice being a good leader in low-pressure situations.  If you practice when it’s not stressful, you’ll perform better under stress.

Ways you might practice

1. Offer feedback during a one-on-one meeting about something small
2. Ask for minor feedback from your team, and practice receiving it well
3. Offer your boss/peer candid feedback about something small
4. Ask a minor personal question to a team member to connect with them a bit better

Small steps, practiced in low-stress situations seems to be a key for me.  When the pressure’s on, it’s easy to lose my head.

Have you found the same thing?